Lost

This is gonna sound like a bitch fest but I just have to get it off my chest. I’ve been here in ukraine 3 months now, and I feel like I’m totally fuckin lost and unsatisfied with my life. During the week, I go to school, do some studying, take care of some errands, and then the weekends are spent hanging out in front of my computer, or drinking with my shitty friends. Nah, my friends are actually good guys but they’re complacent. So that makes them shitty because I’m trying to be better than what I am right now. Anyways, the main problem is…girl problems, what else? Or more specifically, lack thereof. fuck, I havent’ blogged in a long time and theres a lot on my mind, I got to organize my thoughts.

Look basically I’ve been trying to follow a weekly plan of working out, studying, and reading books, and trying to hit on girls, but by the end of the week I get so drained of energy I feel like all I wanna do is sit in front of the computer. Every single weekend I think to myself…I wish I just knew the answer. I wish I knew what I have to know. But fuck all that, I hate wallowing in self-pity. I got so much on my mind right now that I can’t even say it all without sounding incoherent, so I’m gonna make a commitment to blog every other day, and hopefully fill in the blank spots of my life for the last three months, and to plan ahead for the future. Anyways, here’s the plan for the next week:

  1. 12 hours of studying (this means my ass is firmly planted on my seat, books open)
  2. 1 approach during the week in classes/1 on Friday after classes/3 on Saturday at the club/2 on Sunday.
  3. Work out 5 times/week.
  4. 2 hours ice skating.
  5. 10 pages or more book reading/day.
  6. Take care of errands every day.
  7. 1 hour of chess study/week.
  8. Take Vitamin D every morning.
  9. Wake up at 7 AM every morning.
  10. Go to every class.

I need to make these 10 points my habits until they’re subconsciously imprinted in my mind. I have more I’d like to focus on, but 10 is enough for now.

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